Steve's Adventures in South America
I bought a one-way ticket to Venezuela and I'm not coming back until my tube of toothpaste runs out...

Pie & Football

On The Road Again

Yet another drive day. My camera battery drains dry due to all the girls clamouring over my Party Truck photos, moaning at how I could do such a wicked thing to them - then laughing at everybody else. Girls, eh! They're so funny!

Today we arrive at a campsite in daylight! Better than that we have many hours of daylight left in the day. Wousers, that's gotta be a first! So it's out with the footy for a prolonged game of headers and volleys. Nick was the most skilful, closely followed by Rich and Retard. I, of course, had to be told what a football was, quickly followed by what a header and a volley is! "Put the ball down Steve!"

I was on cook duty today - it was decided we were doing cottage pie (or stew'n'mash) for 26 people. I quickly assumed my usual role of the spicer - I make food taste good! After raiding the spice cabinet and amongst many concerns from the back seat chefs of over doing it ("You can't be putting even more in, can you?"), I produce a spectacular tasty dish which leaves no left overs. I even get hugs from the female cook crew for making it a resounding success! Yeah, I rule, I rule! And this time, the girls were impressed!

More Sunsets

The night is spent chatting in the freezing cold, mainly about which famous people we all look like. Rich looks like Mr Anderson from the Matrix. (And he can do the voice too! Awesome!) People agree that at times I could be a dead ringer for Richard Branson but I also get Steve Irwin (same birthday, curly hair and animal antics - you should see my penguin impression!) and a boxer called Colin or Simon something... Anyway, I kill the conversation when everyone goes deathly quiet after I say Emily looks like a girl I saw in an FHM spread. I get the feeling Emily was the girl in the FHM spread! Cor!

The cold air and the cold beer get the better of me and I head to the tent before Rich - first time ever! I was shivering with cold as I penetrated my sleeping bag, which is obviously no good because it took a long time for me to warm up, even with all the draw cords pulled tight. It turned me into a large green wriggling grub! (Sleeping bags don't heat you up, they just retain any heat generated - so if you don't generate heat, you don't get warm!) Still I was nicely warmed come morning when we had to pack up our tents in the dark again.

Posted by Steve Eynon