St Paddy's Day
It's early afternoon by the time I leave the hotel and join Isi for "breakfast". Isi mentions that her life is always happy bouncy and full of good fortune, hence the sun always shines wherever she is. She then blames the rain outside on me, as my life apparently (despite all my hard work and best efforts) tends to be full of humorous misfortune. But it's not so bad as together we make... Rainbows! - sorry.
In a stroke of genius I buy an English newspaper and some glue, we head to a modern Internet cafe, borrow some scissors, print photos of Michelle's teddy bear and spend the afternoon making... Ransom notes! Awesome!
Early evening and we head back to the camp site for Isi needs to pack and sort her stuff out (she has a lot of stuff!) and everyone is hungover and full of drunken stories from last night. Over and above the obvious events which we all saw, Nick (in his bladdered state) persistently tried to chat up some local girls - which their boyfriends didn't take too kindly to! The bouncers threw him out. As they did Uttam, for falling asleep on the dance floor. John dropped his glasses and was only able to retrieve them once they'd been danced upon (think lots of little pieces). And Tony bust the main zipper on his tent trying to get out for a pee.
That morning everyone had plans to go hiking, take boat rides and plane rides, etc, etc but without exception, all slept in until at least midday. (Isi felt bad for waking Michelle at 19:00!) No-one woke up that morning - not even Nick and Sue who had to fly out to Buenos Aires that morning to get back to the UK! Luckily for them, Retard woke up 10 minutes before they had to leave, realised Nick was passed out cold next to him and kicked him out. Sue followed suit. Just before entering the taxi, Nick brushed chunks off his shirt and realised it was damp and rather smelly. That's right, he had chundered all over himself and decorated his tent at the same time, giving Retard a lovely leaving present. Judging by the size of the chunks the only advice we can give to Nick is, "Chew your food!"
On entering to the camp site bar, last night was THE topic to chat about. I just felt sorry for the new comers to the truck as this was their first impression, which they obviously took to be the norm. It was also here that Michelle received her first teddy bear ransom note. She wasn't happy. She swore a lot. I made the mistake of handing Emily my camera to look at photos from the club last night. "Look, here's another ransom note!" she blurts out and promptly hands the camera to Michelle. The ruse is up. Emily ain't no friend of mine.
Next stop is the Dublin Irish bar for St Patricks Day to pacify Irish Michelle and her violent tendencies. For the occasion they were serving beer in plastic glasses as big your head! (I'm serious, it's not a camera trick!) It is all very well but in need of more lively entertainment, Isi, Uttam and I head out to the Casino!
Isi naturally assumes the role of our guide to the establishment for she (amongst other things) is a qualified Black Jack Dealer! So, unsurprisingly, we all gravitate towards the Black Jack table, each with chips to the tune of 100 pesos. In the first instance I watch. I watch as Isi effortlessly doubles her money and Uttam looses his! Then it's my turn.
The dealer is fast, too fast. In fact she practically plays the game for you. If you have 11 or less she automatically deals you another card. If you have 17 or more she assumes you'll stick and carries on. That means that on average it's only every 3rd game she actually asks for your interaction, and if you want another card or not. It's played so fast (and my drunken stupor contributed to this some what) that I'm usually still counting the numbers on my cards when they're whisked away and I see my chips either double or disappear!? On the few occasions my interaction is required, there's no time to add the cards up, I simply look at them and decide if the total looks big or not! The girl does this for 8 hours a day, everyday, she doesn't need to add them up. She can just look a them and know. But there is a certain amount of skill involved and Isi taught me well. The net result, after trying hard to loose all my money, I leave with 120 pesos. That's 20 pesos up! Yeah! I rule, I rule! Isi isn't impressed. She has 200 pesos.
The winnings I spend on the entrance fee for Uttam, Isi and I to get into the Red & White bar, a Pole Dancing Strip Club. Well, the Dublin bar was too smokey to head back to! (Good excuse Isi, I'll remember that one!) Isi led the way. Well, she is a qualified Pole Dancer (to grade 1 out of 6)! Is it me or does this girl just get better and better!?
Due to our female company (no Uttam, not you!) we were forced to sit upstairs in the dingy establishment because the girls were working the tables downstairs. It's good value, 10 pesos (£1.60) each entrance fee with free drink, e.g. the usual ½ pint of whiskey! The place was very active and busy inside which came as a pleasant surprise as it looked d-e-a-d from the dark and damp outside. After a good chat as whether or not the girls downstairs were prostitutes (as they didn't seem to be making much progress if they were) the pole dancing begins. Each was very different to the last, one had fake tits, one had none, one was painted all over and one just blatantly used to be a man! (Check out the manly arms, oversize hands and feet, and is that a banana in your pocket?) And a few of them demonstrated most excellent pole skills, shimmying up to the top (eye to eye to us) before flipping backwards and sliding, upside down, the 2 stories to the bottom. Given that they're essentially naked, how can you not admire that!? We leave when the madam / owner takes over and turns it into a Karaoke show. Thanks, but no thanks.
A quick burger from a fast food joint and we spend the next ½ hour frantically rushing around in the rain trying to find a taxi to take Isi and Uttam back to camp before their truck leaves without them. Eventually an empty one does turn up and I'm left standing alone in the cold and the wet, nursing a hasty peck on the lips as my best friend of the past few weeks disappears into the neon lit morning dark. (Sorry Uttam, no I'm not talking about you!)
Bed for 07:00.
Posted by Steve Eynon