Local Girls for Local People

I wake up and check the time. 11 O'clock. Bollocks. I've missed the White Water Rafting. Sean's not going to be too happy! I get up, spend 10 minutes in a Internet Cafe, realise I'm really, really hungover and stagger back to bed! After I get up I go to my favourite Bolivian Saltenas place for breakfast. The place is cool, they only serve their home made, baked there and then, Saltenas. As such when you walk in and sit down the waitress comes over and simply asks, "Quantos?" (How many?) Today I get handed a note from a waitresses asking for my email address. When I enquire what for she only motions it's for a member of staff...? On leaving I had great difficulty in adding up my simple bill. My brain is mashed. I am really hungover.

I spend the afternoon wondering around the local quarter of town, window shopping for shoes and make a mental note of possible local night clubs in the area. I even find an "Everything for a pound" shop! I return to Cafe Ritual for 18:30 where I expect Sean, Monika &Chris to turn up, and order a large beer. They don't turn up so I'm forced to wrestle with the monster 1.1 litre bottle of beer on my own. But even in this severely weakened state, I Fear No Beer! The young waitress Rudeba takes an interest in me but doesn't speak any English. But her boss in the back room knows some words. What follows is an amusing conversation between 2 people by 3 people.

Rudeba: "How old are you?" \

Steve: "27 (!) How are old are you?" \

Rudeba: "19. (Blah, blah, Spanish, blah)" \

Boss: "Bonitio?" \

Rudeba: "Si, muy bonito!" \

Boss: "Married." \

Rudeba: "Are you married?" \

Steve: "No, I'm not married." \

Rudeba: "(Blah, blah, Spanish, blah)" \

Boss: "Girlfriend." \

Rudeba: "You have girlfriend?" \

Steve: "No, I don't have a girlfriend." \

Rudeba: "(Blah, blah, Spanish, blah)" \

Boss: "Dancing." \

Rudeba: "You want go dancing? Tonight? Me gusta Reggaton?" \

Steve: "Yeah, would love to. Si, me gusta Reggaton." (I lie, I have no idea what Reggaton is!) \

Rudeba: "Cool, here at 10:30."

I leave bemused. It seems I've just acquired a dance date with a 19 year old girl without speaking any Spanish!

I pop into a restaurant near my hostel for dinner and get talking to Matt, the Australian owner. Upstairs is a brand new Hospedaje (Bed and Breakfast type thing), just furnished with views overlooking the Plaza. He introduces me to Carlos the owner and I look around. It seems cool, nice beds, same price per night (15 sols or £2.50) , it appears some what warmer (has more of a roof) and isn't at the top of a huge flight of stairs like my current place! I plan to move in.

I return to Cafe Ritual at the designated time and make instant friends with Juan, the owner, as he's well into his computer. He writes music on it, downloads films and is learning Flash. "My computer is very strong!" he proudly tells me. I think he means "powerful", bless! Rudeba, my dance date has changed her mind, she needs to go home to eat instead but promises tomorrow. No problem as Juan has Gregory over, a skinny French bloke, and his girlfriend. I stay drinking with them after hours. Not wanting to out stay my welcome I leave at 01:30.

It's still early for Saturday night so I decide to go on a local mission. I figure I'll do a quiet crawl on my own of the local clubs and then make a proper night of it with Chris at a later date. Ha! More fool me! First of all I bring attention to myself just by being the only Gringo in the small basement club. As I enter everyone stops and stars at me. I stick out like a sore thumb, I get the feeling not many Gringos venture this deep into local territory. Then it took 3 bar workers and a 4th drunk who spoke a few words of English just to have them understand my order of, "One beer please!" It wouldn't have been so embarrassing but the place only serves large bottles of beer and nothing else! My Spanish still sucks.

After 2 minutes of sitting quietly in the corner, the English speaking drunk staggers overs, very excited by my attendance and wanting to be my next best friend. Conversation quickly dries up once he's exhausted his 12 word vocabulary, but he's ever so proud of his wife, a waitress. So much so at one point I thought he was going to offer her to me for a free trial! It's then the turn of a couple of girls to register their interest in me. I give up on the notion of keeping myself to myself for the evening and join them.

One speaks English (well, ish) and it's her 22nd Birthday. She's fairly wasted but not as much as her Brother who's passed out comatose on the table. Which is acceptable compared to the girl who's brought her baby out to the club! But it seemed quite happy cooing on the chair in the corner amidst the bass bins! Maybe it liked the traditional Andean folk and pan pipe music blasting out on the sound system complete with flashing lights and strobes! After spending time on the dance floor with the girls I found you can pick out a house beat to dance to. In fact, everyone there danced as if in a normal club and I must say the English speaking girl had some fantastic moves on her, despite being rather tipsy.

We then moved on and got a taxi to Las Vegas, a giant 2 story local club - think of it as the Ritzy of Cusco. By now my girl was quite visibly wasted and staggered about, much to the annoyance of a bloke she kept bumping into. Actually, to avoid him starting a fight with me, I had to forcibly sit her down! Back on the dance floor later she kept trying to kiss me, but not wanting to take advantage of her I kept side stepping to receive pecks on the cheek instead. I made my escape from the club when the girls took a little too long in the toilet. Bed for 05:30.

Posted by Steve Eynon